First Steps to “Step” Parenting

Stepping stones to a strong second marriage….

I was listening to a Focus in the Families broadcast about step-families and the speaker said something I had never thought about. Jesus had a step-father and his name was Joseph. He then talked about how the Bible was full of step-families. I had never thought about that. So even in the beginning of time, there were all sorts of issues which led to “step-families.” Anther example of how there is nothing’s new under the sun. Step-parenting is not easy by any means. The “step” parent can spend a lot of time walking on egg shells and dancing around the edges of parenting. The “step” often searches for boundaries when to speak up and when to remain quiet. This is why God’s wisdom is just so important in step-families. We must continually ask for wisdom in relating to the children. Don’t forget that the kids have their own baggage coming into your marriage. Probably every child has dreamed of his or her parents getting back together and your marriage ruined that dream. This is why the “step” should not  take rejection personally. The kids have their own hurts and disappointments they are working through–Not to mention the idea of new people and new personalities in “their” house and “their” space to adjust to. I’m sure kids often feel torn in many situations and we must be realize it is not personal. The “step” must have the attitude and display in their actions that they are not trying to “replace” their parents. My husband and I have always said we want to play whatever role in “our” children’s lives that they will allow and we have always tried to never force something on them that they weren’t ready or willing to accept in our relationship with them. It’s so important for both spouses to communicate and be able to share openly regarding the kids and not take offense when all doesn’t go smoothly. Building your strong second marriage and step-family is definitely a “crock pot” process and not a “microwave” process. It takes time and lots of patience and love and as with any relationship, Christ must remain at the center.
Just another stepping stone….

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